Wednesday, September 12, 2007

buss aik post

It`s been sometime since I wrote something in my blog. I really do not understand the reason why I used to write or why I am not writing anymore. Kia abhi life bilkul bhi worthwhile nahi hai? Kia abhi aisa kuch bhi nahi horeha jo mai blog k through save kerna chahoun?

Koi 1.5 month pehlay mai Pakistan gya tha, cousin ki shadi thi and waise bhi gher jana tha... Acha reha trip, laiken strangely I did not enjoy as much as I used to enjoy earlier, jab mai UK say Pakistan jaya kerta tha, I did try not to look different, I tried my best to blend in and have a good time, laiken ager internally I asses it, it was probably all fake. Maine buht sochnay ki koshish ki k what would be the reason behind? I am Home! and with my Family, and on a occasion, it should be all jolly and humorous, laiken phir bhi.. pata nahi shaed yeh year hi kuch aisa hai, I made few decision which might not be turning the way I wanted and this has caused a prolonged era of depression resulting in lack of my humourous instict, sense of enjoyment and feeling of writing something...

Aik mustaqil jang si chal rehi hai mere mai, kia kerun kia na kerun, sentiments, emotions, relationships, economics, future prospects, sub kuch hi blur sa hota ja reha hai. I apply for new jobs everyday laiken don't persue them later isliye kuch nahi badalta, mere say itnay logo ko itni expectations hain, mere managers ko at work, mere parents ko at home and people in trusted circle, kis kis ko kaise khush kerun....buht masla hai yeh to :(

Well socha to buht kuch likhne ko, roz hi koi na koi baat to zaror aati hai zehn mai k isper likhna chahiyeh, laiken phir wohi, I just don`t get enough time to think about myself anymore, shaed k mai khudi nahi chahta sochna, kion k jab sochnay bethta houn to dil kerta hai k sub kuch aik din mai hi change hojaye, jo k mumkin nahi.

Abhi mai gher per betha hun, 3:30 pm wednesday, one day to go for ramadan, hah last year tek i would have known islamic dates as well and would have sent Ramadan greetings to most of my friends etc etc and this year till yesterday I wasn't sure when the blessed month is going to start, how things are changed, it is certainly not going the way I wanted...