Sunday, September 06, 2009

One week passed,

and he is no more with me.

My uncle, who was 70+ died on friday night. A whole day has been passed away, yet I cannot comprehend what has happened and how. Something unimaginable has happened. For someone looking at his age may not be very much surprised but us, the people living around them haven't had faintest idea that this was coming.

I am writing this post so I do not forget this tragedy, the day I even cried, and the day I felt this life so meaningless.

The things he used to say, the things we did together, everything is still reminding me of him. He was only one elder person in the family I could easily speak to. We used to discuss politics, environment, religion, joke together, watched tv together, went for prayer together...

I was it his place, only because at the begining of Ramadan he asked me excplicitly, Tauqeer, why you want to go home?, stay here, stay with us, keep rozay with us this year. And I was like, okay Bao ji, I will come back with my clothes and stuff, and again he asked me to stay till Sehri time.

I went home and came back a week later, first thing he asked: Why you haven't shown you face whole week, your office is nearby you could have made here easily...and I just smiled.

When I was born, my mum got ill and I came home, I stayed with my uncle and aunt for more than a week. So possibly, it was that first week bond we still had in common, that whenever we used to meet, we was extra generous to me, always used to ask me my plans, about my job etc.

Only couple of days earlier, I was thinking, if I was to teach him use a laptop, how would he comprehend the amount of knowledge available online etc etc...may be that is not important anymore.

His last day was friday, we went to pray all the prayers in masjid together except Fajr, which he knew I used to pray at home. There was no obvious signs as if he was feeling any different that day, just a normal happy day, had few other guests at home for iftar as well.

Before the Iftar time, unusually I went to his room, and sat with him on his bed. We were just watching TV together and I asked how was it used to be like in old days when you were young and same time I said to myself..I should ask more of these questions, as we don't know if we ever going to have this chance again or not. And yes, that was my last questions to him.

I asked him, how many branded products they used to have at home when he was young, and he said: Hand soup and shoe polish...cherry blossom , lifebuoy and sunlight...

He also told me some old stories of my dad the other day...

There are so many other things I wanted to ask him, yet I wouldn't have chance to any more.

He usually asked me, what life I do prefer? Life in Britain, here in Kuwait or is Pakistan better and I used to get annoyed by hearing same question again and again yet I used to reply to him as in; It depends on a person and his priorities, its good everywhere, I can adjust.

This was the first time I seen death and dead person so closely. I went to grab telephone to call ambulance, I saw his half open eyes, and straight away knew there is something seriously wrong yet I couldn't say nothing. I tried to massage him, did everything I could to make him move, make some noise but all in vain. When the paramedic guy said, he is no more, I still had the courage to ask, is there nothing you can do now? and the guy goes, he had died for more than 20 minutes now, you can give artificial breathing only under five minutes of heart stroke, he is just dead now. Me and my cousin came out of the room, aunty was crying and weeping in the doorway and asked us what do the say, and that was a terrible moment, what to tell her.

Seen all the paper works, three different ambulances coming to home, and then the other day burial. Something in me was telling again and again, this is not the only time, this is not the final time, there will be more of these times, I have so many loved ones, my parents, my sisters, my elders, and yet how prepared are we? We all have to leave this world, going back to where we came from, Allah(SWT) created us, and we all go back to him, yet we have the courage to disobey and do whatever we like, somewhere inside us building up our self made excuses of not praying enough and not doing enough what has been asked us to do.

Who ever reads this, please pray for his soul, and please do remember, we all have to go back.