In a contrast to usual perception, I do share things. I like sharing my thoughts, my emotions, in general my life with people I trust, and who I believe would understand me, appreciate me and give me a constructive feedback. Having said that, it is also true that I have always shared my stuff with more than one person. Like I have different avenues to shed my life stuff, based on personae I have assumed for different people around me. (and this shouldn't freak out any one of you, seriously)
There is always some sort of selection of events/stuff to share with, but usually it is a mixture of good and bad bits. The way I believe most of us are 'programmed' is; we take-in events, happenings, and our own thoughts as an input for our inner being, and then we decode them in to emotions to be transferred.
To put emotions into a perception, I would like to give them shapes. Categorizing these emotions in to two forms i.e. positive and negative beings would help the case. Now if I really wanted to simplify this, and create a logical block diagram, I would have chosen a round and square shapes. But unfortunately, life is not that simple in my view. Either it be positive or a negative bit, both of them do not come in 'regular' forms. So let us say they come in 'uneven', irregular shapes.
Now while passing these uneven shapes, either the mode of communication or the container (next person) is not always capable to accept the shapes intended for the transfer. So in the transfer process or so called 'sharing', some of the rough edges are scratched off. With course of time, my own container fills up with so much of the residue that there remains no space for further emotions.
This is the situation I felt yesterday. I usually do get these every few months. So how do I deal with it? I try to consume those bits/emotions/energies to make room for new. I spend money, do things I don't usually do, eat out, eat a lot, do nothing and laze around, and most significantly, I stop 'sharing'.
Labels: life
