Saturday, June 30, 2007

confused??


Haan probably I should put these kinda posts on this blog only. I wanted to write about the recent flooding in southern Pakistan and the political scenario in the Palestine which is certainly very distressing but once again couldn’t find enough concentration to do so, and hence as a branded mean person, here comes another post just for myself.

It’s 11:20 a.m. and I am leaving for the site from our office in Qusais. I have just signed a leave application which is lying on my table at the moment, it will take lot of mental energy for me to take that to the OTHER room for approval but the first step has been completed and it’s a relief. Recently, most of my spare time is spent thinking about my role in the company and if that is really what I always wanted to do. Somehow my immature mind can not comprehend and process all the good related to this job either available to me yet or can be foreseen in the future but the constant state of discomfort I am facing these days makes me depressed and miserable most of the times which in turns makes me not to answer work phone or reply emailsK.

Everyday I plan to move but move where? I have checked possibilities with Canadian immigrations, work visa for UK which all seems very encouraging but when I think about it seriously, these are the places I left and decided not to live for good, then how come I am planning to go back!. Kuwait seems to be place where I CAN live but again possibilities of finding a job are really slim with my little industry experience. I don’t know what I am running from, either I’m home sick(after living five years away from family?), or I just don’t like my job, but there is certainly something of not my liking. At this time of my career I can not afford to make any wrong choices. I do acknowledge that my decision to move Dubai was a haphazard and something like that once again wouldn’t me wise of me for certain but …

Anyways plan for Pakistan! Meri cousin ki shadi hai na on 21st! which I don’t want to miss:$ and hopefully this will give me some time to think calmly about what’s going around.

Arghhh how come my blogs turning into pure ranting these days: @ :’(

4 Comments:

Blogger Tauqeer said...

hmmm

Sat Jun 30, 10:46:00 pm GMT+3  
Blogger BlackRose said...

awww.... well.. thing is.. you are at the stage in ur career life where you are exploring what you really would want to do in this field...and where you want to stay.. You are thinking of future prospects and thats ok.

You seem like you aren't entirely happy with the role you are given.. making u feel depressed...of where you are etc.

You know what places like UK and canada are like..even if u dont plan to stay for good ..the only reason ur looking back at such places is because u are comparing how much emotionally happier u were there..

You do have to think of working life in such places..and how much more different it will be from now too... You have experienced first hand ..and so you are able to compare...no harm in that.

IF u were homesick.. wouldnt u simply just look for a place back in pak......?

It seems its a choice between your career and your sanity and i ranted about this on my blog lol..:$ thats what blogs are for..Ranting.right?. unburdening ur thoughts.. so.. may aswell make use of all that lovely clear space u can fill up with words..:D

Do what You feel is right for you.. rather than what you Think is right.

Sun Jul 01, 01:04:00 am GMT+3  
Blogger Tauqeer said...

kia musibat hai ! why can't i see my blog on main:@

Sun Jul 01, 08:39:00 am GMT+3  
Blogger Mariam said...

InshaAllah you will make the right decision. My best wishes are with you. If you believe in it, Istikhara may be an option. And enjoy the wedding :)

Fri Jul 06, 03:50:00 am GMT+3  

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